Timing

Timing is everything.



I hate having to admit and accept that.



I happen to be one of the most impatient people on the planet. As a teenager, I would get extremely annoyed and impatient with my family when I felt like we were going to be late to something.



Have I improved at all as I have “grown up”?



It's hard for me to tell. Even now, if I am sitting in a meeting, if the meeting goes only 1 minute overtime, I feel anxious and annoyed that it has not ended yet. Also, when I know that I am going to be late to something, I have a hard time “letting it go.”



How does this relate to infertility?



I believe that infertile couples go through a cycle of patience and impatience. And yes, I mean a cycle.

Sometimes, I feel like I am doing awesome with the being-patient-with-infertility-thing. I trust in God, I am happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life even though I am not living my dream of being a mother.



On other days...



I get upset with my life because I don't understand why I can't have any children when my best friend or my sister-in-law has been married approximately the same amount of time as I have, and already has 3 children. Sometimes, those are the days I get my period. Sometimes, those are the days when I go to church and see all the little kids. Sometimes it's “just because.” It's not usually a consistent thing.



So what does this have to do with timing?



I have thought a lot about this, especially during my “stronger” moments. Understanding the timing of events that occur in your life is a very personal thing and really is between you, your husband, and God. Sometimes we won't understand all of this timing stuff until much later on in our lives, but if we ignore this concept, infertility will take over our lives.



We must take what we have in our lives and run with it – don't just go for it – RUN! Get more of an education, get a good job, learn new hobbies, enjoy traveling, get more sleep, take care of your body, become a better person – Enjoy this time you are living!



Lesson learned: 

Enjoy living life! Have faith that God's timing in this “infertility thing” is right for you.